Left. I was left.
I really hate the feeling. Even worse that the feeling of leaving. It's so hard to face the fact that he had just passed away. It's even harder when you still have one promise to him.
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He was kinda 'invisible' in KMHDUI. Went to Makrab 2008, then never showed up. I kept informing him whenever there was an event, even it's just a small one. He ignored. Maybe he was kinda busy.
Few months ago, he started to response my SMS. Always gave a reason whenever he was not able to participate. Just a simple message: "Maaf May aku nggak bisa ikut. Ada acara. Salam buat semuanya ya!"
One day, he asked me one thing:
My friends and I walked beside his coffin to pray for him. I prayed and apology to him. When I was praying, my eyes that were shut felt so hot and burning. When I opened it at the the end of my prayer, tears went down.
I walked away from his coffin. There, I realized that I am not a tough person. I was only able to stand few meters from him, watch him silently 'cause he also sleeps silently. A long sleep. He would never open his eyes again. T
here they were, his parents and siblings. They continued to greet everyone, smile, no tears. I wonder what if I were his parent or sibling? I don't think I'm tough enough for this. I am not ready yet to be left.
I still don't understand how things get going. This is the second time for me after Braven (read post: what is Your point, God?). He was a really nice person, smart, good looking, and fun. This is too sudden! No symptoms, no illness, no pain, no accident? He was just got back from watching Abang None Jakarta, knocked on his sister's door, suddenly he had already laid down on the floor. Many friends of him told that they had just chat with him, spent time together, Facebooking, and so on.
Unbelievable surprise, God. Unfortunately, this is not funny. At all! Nope. I still cannot understand what is Your point.
I really hate the feeling. Even worse that the feeling of leaving. It's so hard to face the fact that he had just passed away. It's even harder when you still have one promise to him.
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He was kinda 'invisible' in KMHDUI. Went to Makrab 2008, then never showed up. I kept informing him whenever there was an event, even it's just a small one. He ignored. Maybe he was kinda busy.
Few months ago, he started to response my SMS. Always gave a reason whenever he was not able to participate. Just a simple message: "Maaf May aku nggak bisa ikut. Ada acara. Salam buat semuanya ya!"
One day, he asked me one thing:
May, nonton bareng yuk! KMHDUI 2007nya aja!He asked me 2-3 times, but I still can't complete that request. Still, until now. Until he won't ever ask me again. I will never able to stop blamming my self why I couldn't complete such a simple request from a friend that just wanna see us gathered again. Why did I ask him to wait till those who were in Bali return to Depok? Why didn't I just arrange it with those who are still in Depok?
My friends and I walked beside his coffin to pray for him. I prayed and apology to him. When I was praying, my eyes that were shut felt so hot and burning. When I opened it at the the end of my prayer, tears went down.
I walked away from his coffin. There, I realized that I am not a tough person. I was only able to stand few meters from him, watch him silently 'cause he also sleeps silently. A long sleep. He would never open his eyes again. T
here they were, his parents and siblings. They continued to greet everyone, smile, no tears. I wonder what if I were his parent or sibling? I don't think I'm tough enough for this. I am not ready yet to be left.
I still don't understand how things get going. This is the second time for me after Braven (read post: what is Your point, God?). He was a really nice person, smart, good looking, and fun. This is too sudden! No symptoms, no illness, no pain, no accident? He was just got back from watching Abang None Jakarta, knocked on his sister's door, suddenly he had already laid down on the floor. Many friends of him told that they had just chat with him, spent time together, Facebooking, and so on.
Unbelievable surprise, God. Unfortunately, this is not funny. At all! Nope. I still cannot understand what is Your point.
Dit, selamat jalan. Terlalu mendadak aja rasanya. Kita bahkan belum pernah ngumpul lagi. Maaf ya aku belum bisa menuhin permintaanmu. Maafin aku kalo ada salah sama kamu. Tidur yang tenang ya.
